— Words

You might remember that a while back I wrote An Open Letter To Everyone (Including Me) about the then-debate about Hell, Universalism, and Rob Bell. Well, I lost that one in the database erasing, but I promise you it was a good one. One of my favorites actually.

This post is about another H-word. Well, actually an L-G-B-T-word.

For a long time I’ve skirted the issue, I’ve hinted at my thoughts, I’ve raised questions and discussion, I’ve argued tooth and nail, and I’ve played devil’s advocate. So in full disclosure before I address the parts of this open letter, this is my “coming-out” of sorts. I am a gay-affirming Christian. In my years of reading and studying of Scripture, my endless time spent in commentaries and reading essays from theologians and pastors (on BOTH SIDES of the issue), and most importantly spending time in discussion with my gay friends, I have come to my decision on the matter. I do not believe that the homosexual orientation is (or ever was) at odds with the Bible, and I don’t believe what the Bible says about homosexual (or alleged homosexual) acts bears any semblance to monogamous, committed love between two people of the same sex. I’m not going to use this post as a diatribe against any point of view, and honestly, if you want a good primer on the affirming side of the issue, there are plenty of resources and you can do your reading yourself (like here,  here, and here, and this is just the tip of the iceberg). And one more thing before I move on, if at this point you want to skip right to the comment’s section with your “Farewell, Collin” comment, go ahead, but inflammatory speech is not welcome in my comments section, so bear that in mind.

More and more we are seeing a culture divide widen between those who are affirming or at least welcoming of the gay community and those who aren’t. It used to be that we just didn’t really talk about it. I mean there was legislation called DON’T ASK, DON’T TELL for crying out loud. Well, I’m of the opinion that we need to talk about it. We need to wrestle with it. And even if you don’t have a hard-line stance on the issue of homosexuality, you can’t ignore it. They aren’t going away, friends.

To my gay-affirming friends:

First and foremost, remember that not everyone is affirming, or even close to affirming. Too many times we still fall into the same “us vs. them” trap that we so often rail against. Good discussion is key, but so is listening. And loving. Isn’t it the culture war we’re sick of in the first place? So don’t just get suited up for battle on the other side. There is a better way—the way of Jesus. It’s a way of love. It’s a way of getting on someone’s level, hearing them out, and then making your point. We can keep saying “those Christians, I’m not one of those Christians.” Or we can realize that just because someone might feel differently about a social issue than us, doesn’t mean they don’t believe in the same Jesus.

I know that many of the farther-left side of this issue say that this “bridge-building” attitude just keeps enabling hatred and bigotry, but I disagree. Someone who believes that homosexual acts are sinful may be wrong in my opinion, but that doesn’t stop me from wanting to show them how to love unconditionally. Because in the end, that’s what this is all about: love. We can stand against injustice, we can stand against oppression, we can fight for gay rights, we can denounce bigotry and hate speech, but we must do it out of a place of love, not from a place of shooting-from-the-hip. And God knows I’ve shot from the hip one too many times. The goal should never be to win an argument, the goal should be to show Christ’s love no matter what.

And lastly, in Matthew 7:16 Jesus says “by their fruit you will recognize them. Do people pick grapes from thorn bushes, or figs from thistles?” Well, Galatians 5:22-23 says “the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, and self-control.” That one is pretty self-explanitory.

To my non-affirming friends:

I believe Jesus is the Son of God, I believe that he is God incarnate, and that he came to die on our behalf and rose again to beat the power of death. I just wanted to get that out of the way, to at least prove we’re on the same page here and that I’m not some raging heretic.

I don’t blame you for having a traditional understanding of the Bible’s six verses that refer to homosexual acts. I was once there. And I’m not going to spend any time talking you out of that viewpoint, even though I disagree with you (if you really want to learn more, I shared three of the many many resources available above). I do want to challenge you though. First, and most importantly, if being gay (or having gay sex) is wrong, conviction is the Holy Spirit’s job, not yours. You have one job—to love and welcome anyone into this big, dysfunctional family. One more time: your job is to LOVE unconditionally.

Second, lets retire “love the sinner, hate the sin.” The language does much more harm than it does good. Sure you might see homosexual behavior as nothing more than a sin in a long list of sins—something you do. But we’re talking about a whole community of people that understand that this is who they are. That’s why an argument like “love the sinner, hate the sin” just doesn’t track with someone who’s gay. It doesn’t make logical sense. To a gay person this says “love the sinner, just hate everything about them.” You may disagree and say “but their identity is in being created in the image of God, not their sexuality”—and I’d agree with you on that one, but that’s insider language. Sure, you get that, because you’re a Christian. But you can’t expect everyone to understand Christianese. Let’s change the phrase to “…and the second is like it, love your neighbor as yourself.” (Matthew 22:39)

Third, when discussing the issue of homosexuality, saying “the Bible is clear on the matter” just doesn’t cut it. Because the Bible is not clear on the matter. If it was, this would be easy. There’d be no discussion, no other interpretation of the Greek and Hebrew words. Many churches adopt the language of “closed-hand beliefs” and “open-hand beliefs” distinguishing between doctrine with little-to-no discussion, and doctrine that is open to debate. It is of my belief that nothing about this issue changes anything as it pertains to our Salvation.

And lastly, in Matthew 7:16 Jesus says “by their fruit you will recognize them. Do people pick grapes from thorn bushes, or figs from thistles?” Well, Galatians 5:22-23 says “the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, and self-control.” That one is pretty self-explanitory.

To my LGBT friends:

If you used to be a Christian and aren’t now because of the way you’ve been treated in the church or your Christian home, I understand and don’t blame you. If you hear the word “Christian” and the only feeling you have is anger—believe me, I understand.

If you really wanted to believe in God but the only god you’ve ever known is one that hates you at the very core of who you are—know that god is an absolute lie.

If someone ever told you that God sent natural disasters because of homosexuals in this country, or on a more personal level, that some sort of horrible experience happened to you because you are gay—they are wrong.

And if anyone ever told you that you are unlovable—they were DEAD wrong.

I’m sorry for all of the bigotry and hatred spouted out in the name of God. My heart breaks for the way you’ve been treated and the way you’ll continue to be treated in the name of Jesus.

You are loved. You are special. You are created in the image of God. There is nothing anyone can say, scream, or write on a sign that can change that. Don’t let bitterness and anger drive you. You don’t have to live that way. And please know that there are churches and communities where you’ll be accepted and loved for who you are and how you were created.

In Matthew 7:16 Jesus says “by their fruit you will recognize them. Do people pick grapes from thorn bushes, or figs from thistles?” Well, Galatians 5:22-23 says “the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, and self-control.” If you judge us Christians by anything—let it be that.

I want to challenge you to look outside of the Christianity you know.

Look past that lie of a god you once believed in.

Look straight to Jesus.

Jesus got on our level.

Jesus stood in between us and the religious leaders—who didn’t see anyone but themselves as fit for heaven—and said “come to me all who are weary and I will give you rest.”

You are loved. More than you know.